


Delivery Status

by shieldmaidenofdarkness



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Awkwardness, But it's not weird, Crack, Dorks, F/M, I promise, Landlord/Tenant - Freeform, Mechanic Rey, Neighbours, Rey stressbakes, Sex Toys, but they might as well be, comic author Ben, give a round of applause for Vader the cat, is it voyeurism if you don't see the other person?, sex positivity, there will me smut, they are not virgins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldmaidenofdarkness/pseuds/shieldmaidenofdarkness
Summary: After pining for her hot neighbour Ben, Rey orders adult toys online. Nothing could go wrong, right? Right.+++++If it wasn’t fan mail, then it could only be a delivery for Rey. His cute, hot, beautiful neighbour Rey.He looked at the label and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Rey Johnson.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 79
Kudos: 458





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I promised myself to never ever post WIP again.  
> Turns out: I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> Don't take this too seriously.

It was the third time in the last hour that she checked the delivery status on her phone. Rey was more than excited for this delivery and hat awaited its arrival almost anxiously. When she saw that the delivery status had changed to “Delivered” with the note that a neighbour had received the delivery, she couldn’t help but panic for a second. It was probably her neighbour Ben who had received the delivery. Her tall, muscular, hot neighbour Ben - the reason for this delivery in the first place.

Reminding herself that she had checked the option for discreet packaging helped her calm down - he wouldn’t know that she had ordered a small collection of sex toys online. She vaguely recalled the discreet options at checkout: a non-descriptive company name, a shop for printer-supplies as well as a shop for merchandise.  
  


Rey had moved in almost half a year ago into one half of the small duplex in a nice neighbourhood. It was a small miracle that she had landed this apartment, seeing as she was a single woman with a job as a mechanic that didn’t pay that much. Ben was not only her neighbour but also her landlord as he owned the duplex and rented out half of it. He had been a bit awkward but overall friendly when she went to see the apartment. At the time she didn’t think she would get the apartment - seeing that she was a single woman with a job that didn’t pay too much. But not even an hour after she’d left her contact information with Ben, he had sent her an email, saying that she could move in the next month.

She was lucky to have gotten the apartment - Ben wasn’t an annoying neighbour and the apartment itself was beautiful and had everything she needed. It had one bedroom, a small bathroom (with tub and window!), an open kitchen/living-room-situation and a small porch. A stark contrast to her last apartment, a small flat over a bowling alley, with a creepy and shady landlord.

Ben could have easily demanded double the amount of money as rent, but he didn’t, and Rey tried to make it up to him with baked goods every once in a while. She would have offered to do some garden-work as well, but….  
  


Ben … Ben was a _treat_. He was so hot, it pained her to see him work shirtless in the garden. His muscles on full display, shining in sweat and flexing under his skin. Or him being kind of flustered every time she ran into him while grocery shopping. It was adorable, he seemed to be a bit shy and oblivious to his looks, but damn. She had never had a type - before knowing Ben Solo. Now her type was Ben fucking Solo. Tall, dark and handsome, his brooding manner, his luscious hair, his full lips, his eight-pack. She could swoon all day.

And it was not like she hadn’t tried to flirt with him, to make her attraction known, but he remained closed off to her. She had worn risky clothes, had complimented him, had made flirty innuendos. Nothing had worked - at most she got him to blush and look at his shoes, mostly he seemed to flee from her.

One time, she had even given him an innocent kiss on the cheek and a tight hug, after he had let her print something on his printer. That day, she had put it on thick – white, lacey sundress (the perfect mix of sexy and innocence), made more eye contact than necessary and touched his forearm or shoulder anytime he was near enough. She had made small talk, asked him on his thoughts on the latest issue of the _Starkiller_ comic (she had delightedly noticed that he must be a big fan, judging by all the merchandise in his apartment.

None of her attempts had gotten much of a response from him – sure, they had talked a bit about the dynamic of the characters in _Starkiller_ , and although Ben seemed interested in her thoughts, he hadn’t reacted to any of her advances. So, Rey believed that he just wasn't into her. It was a shame and hurt her self-esteem a bit, but there was nothing she could do about it.  
  


And after months of feeling unsatisfied, of complaining to her friend Rose and of being a total grump at work, Rey had finally caved and listened to her friend’s advice, going on an online-shopping-spree. Rose’s gift card had been a godsent, and after staring at the online shop for hours, she had settled on a small variety of toys.

_“Make sure that they are waterproof. Thank me later,”_ still rang in her ears and Rey smiled at the delivery status.

When she made it home after work, she went straight to Ben’s door and rang his bell, eager to collect her belongings.

  
  


+++++

  
  


Ben had a comfortable life. He was renting out half of his duplex (albeit not charging nearly as much as he could, but he just melted whenever he saw his cute tenant and afterall, it wasn’t like he needed the money); he finally had a good relationship with his parents; his comic was fairly successful and he had a good workout routine. He didn’t have to worry about money, and he was in good health. His tomcat Vader actually liked him and let Ben pet him regularly.

All was good.

Except that he had the biggest crush on his neighbour/tenant, and he had no clue on how to act near her. Plus, he wasn’t sure if she liked him at all. He knew that she was way out of his league and he was pretty sure that he had ruined any prospects for something more pretty early one with his awkwardness.

Yes, there was the one time she had kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. And to be fair, they had talked a bit about _Starkiller_ (turned out that Rey was a fan – could she get any more perfect?), but that had been only friendly chit-chat amongst neighbours, right? And kissing a friend on the cheek wasn’t uncommon either, or at least that was what a painful research on Google had told him.  
  


When his doorbell rang for the first time that day, he was just finishing the last page of the latest issue of the _Starkiller_ comic. He would be lying if he said that lately the story wasn’t inspired by a certain someone. Or his desire for her. Shortly after Rey moved in, he had introduced a new character into the storyline, _Kira_ , a badass scavenger and opposite to the protagonist _Jedikiller_. He caught himself again and again adding parallels to his relationship to Rey to the comics, clearly drawing inspiration from what he knew about her.

Rey was a mechanic, so it only made sense to make Kira a scavenger with an affinity to salvage and repair stuff. Rey was beautiful, so Kira ended up way out of Jedikillers league. Rey was a good-hearted, kind person, bringing him baked goods, so Kira naturally went out of her way to help others.

Ben already knew how the series was going to continue. He was currently working on the last issue with Jedikiller – the last, because the antihero was going to die. Jedikiller would redeem himself, give his life for Kira and save her. The story would continue for Kira, of course. She was a fan-favourite and he couldn’t bring himself to end the series completely. Kira would kiss Jedikiller in an act of gratitude and then the original protagonist of this series would vanish.

It was the bittersweet ending to an era, but Ben didn’t think that Jedikiller was deserving of love or that he deserved a happy ending with Rey – no, Kira. Okay, maybe he was overcompensating a bit.

Carefully putting away the fountain pen, Ben made his way to the front door. Not wanting to make awkward small talk with the delivery guy, he quickly took the package inside and waved the other man goodbye. On the way back to his desk he tore blindly into the package, expecting to find some much-needed art supplies.

Ben let his eyes flicker over the package, making out a print on the cardboard box, resembling a printer. _Weird_ , he thought, the deliveries from his supplier usually didn’t have any prints on them, but he didn’t put too much thought into it. He had ordered some new ink and special paper, amongst other things. But when his fingers couldn’t make out the familiar shapes of his supplies, he lowered his eyes to the contents of the package.  
  


“What the fuck?!” Ben shrieked and let the package drop immediately.  
  


Those were _definitely_ not the supplies he had ordered.

In the inconspicuous cardboard box lay several adult toys. _Sex toys_. Not action figures or art supplies. Not the paper he ordered, nor the ink nor brushes, nor _anything_ he had _ever_ contemplated to buy. No, nestled between bubble wrap lay sex toys. Various, brightly coloured sex toys in different shapes and sizes.

“What the fuck?” he muttered again. “No, get away from that, Vader. That’s not for you!”  
  


The black cat had made its way over to him and after rubbing against his legs, began to inspect the cardboard box. Vader was just about to climb into the box (probably to rub his face all over its contents) when Ben shooed him away.  
  


Cautiously he bent down to the box and inspected the label, afraid that someone had sent him this as a prank. It wouldn’t be the first time that he got weird fan mail - the memory of a love letter written in red ink (ink, it had to be ink) still too fresh. The _only_ other option would be his worst nightmare. If it wasn’t fan mail, then it could only be a delivery for Rey. His cute, hot, beautiful neighbour Rey.

He looked at the label and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. _Rey Johnson_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mention of sexual harassment (very briefly, no one is actively being or was harassed)

As soon as the door opened, Rey found herself beaming up at Ben. Her earlier worries were all but forgotten at the sight of this treat of a man. The effect he had on her wasn’t knew, but it caught her by surprise every time.

“Hey Ben, I think you have a delivery for me.”  
  


She watched his already red face turn three shades darker, the tips of his ears poking out from under his black mane. Ben looked rather flustered, nervous even - which didn’t make any sense. Why would he be nervous to see her? Had she done something wrong? What was going on?

Oh.

_Oooooh_.

_Nononononono this can’t be happening._

_I ordered discreet packaging. This can’t be happening_.

“Uhm, yeah, wait a minute, I’ll just get it”, Ben mumbled, looking everywhere but her face. He turned around and went inside, only to reappear shortly after, her package in hand. The cardboard box had clearly been ripped open and Rey felt her brows furrow. Had Ben opened her package on purpose? It certainly looked like it, almost like an act of deliberate vandalism. Was he spying on her? Wasn’t he the sweet and helpful neighbour she thought and in fact some crazy stalker? Was he-  
  


“I’m so sorry for opening it, uhm, I swear it was an accident! I didn’t look at the label and I thought it was for me. I ordered some stuff – ink and paper mostly and it was supposed to get here today. I mean, the logo looked different, but bands change them all the time, right? And I swear, once I realized that it wasn’t - wasn’t mine, I didn’t look at it anymore. I swear,” he rushed to explain, stumbling over his own words and barely stopping to breathe.

His cheeks had turned such a dark shade of red, that Rey had no chance but to believe him on the spot. Her eyes caught on a sliver of his burning red ears peeking out of his luscious mane. If this hadn’t been the most awkward moment in her entire life (and that included being _slushied_ in grade seven, having to sit through four hours of classes and a presentation in a soaked through, sticky sweater), she might have even felt bad for him.  
  


Which really only left her with the humiliation of her hot neighbour, her _landlord,_ her _crush_ having seen her sex toys, her anger and suspicions evaporated. _Oh god. He had seen her sex toys. The ones she was planning to use later._ He was probably making all kinds of assumptions about her – false assumptions, but he didn’t know that! This was horrible. Ben probably thought she was some kind of sex-crazed, lunatic, pathetic … something. Destined to be a crazy cat lady.  
  


The adrenaline rushing through her body made her move faster and almost on autopilot. She grabbed the cardboard box, snatched it right out of his hands, turned around and fled to her own front door. “Thanks,” she yelled over her shoulder, not really looking at him and blushing herself furiously.

+++++

He was mortified. Humiliated. Ridiculed. Drenched in shame. _Horrified_.

When she had opened the door, Rey had practically _beamed_ at him. Her smile could light up the darkest days. But it was nothing compared to the whirlwind of emotions that had followed. From confusion to a flicker of furious anger (remind him to never get on her bad side, if only for a second, but she had looked like she was ready to storm into battle and diminish her enemies) and finally landed on the same mortification he felt.

Would they ever get back to before? Was there any possibility to get past the awkwardness that was seeing your tenants sex toys?

Maybe. Maybe they could some day go back to being landlord and tenant, friends even, if he was lucky.

But there was no chance in hell that they would ever be anything more than that. That much was clear. And he couldn’t even blame her. Fuck, he was lucky if she didn’t sue him.

His mind was racing – could that be considered sexual harassment? Violation of privacy at least, of that he was certain.

Maybe he should run over there and apologize again?

_Yes, that is a good idea_ , Ben mused, nodding to himself.

From his favourite spot on the couch, Vader was eyeing him, seemingly disgusted. Ben knew, of course, that the cat had no idea what was going on, but sometimes his silent judgement helped, nonetheless.

“You’re probably right, Vader,” Ben sighed. “Probably shouldn’t go there today. Maybe tomorrow if things cooled down a bit. Don’t want to be a creep.”

Otherwise he might make things worse, that potential sexual harassment lawsuit hovering in the back of his mind. Maybe they could even laugh about it, an inside-joke between friends.

Vader let out an accusing _meeeeooooow_ , Ben looked at him with a frown on his face. “What is it, buddy?”

The cat only yawned before rising up, stretching his furry body and hopping down from the couch, leaving Ben to his thoughts. And his thoughts were _racing_.

Another reason, why his relationship with Rey would never evolve past friendship was the fact, that she was very clearly not looking for a relationship. That many sex toys could only mean that she was planning to stay single for quite some time. Right? His mother had raised him to respect women and their choices. If she was happy being single, then he had no right to judge her. And it was 2020, after all. He wasn’t _prude_.

Or … maybe she already was in a relationship and was only looking to spice things up? Lots of people did that, or so he heard. But Ben was no homewrecker either. He could be awfully selfish, but not _that_ selfish. And he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking Rey’s heart in any way – and breaking her and her partner up would ultimately lead to heartbreak.

There was also the possibility that those toys weren’t for her at all, that she had bought them as a gift for a friend or ordered them for a friend who was too embarrassed to have them delivered home. Hadn’t Hux mentioned that women often got their friends sex toys before they married? As some kind of bachelorette party? Yeah, that sounded reasonable. Surely Rey had bought all of those toys for a friend that was about to get married. Some elaborate joke.

Except … Rey had seemed horrified herself, her face flustered and spotty from embarrassment. Ben was often delusional, but he knew that judging by her reaction, there was no chance that those toys weren’t meant for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, Friends. we're in for a ride.  
> Next up: Testing out some toys, shall we?
> 
> +++++
> 
> I am overwhelmed by your feedback. <3 Each comment means so much to me, and I see each and everyone of them. Please know how much I appreciate them!
> 
> On a more selfish note: I am kind of rebranding my Tumblr. It once was a blog dedicated to Reylo, but as I am currently exploring other fandoms as well, it will transform into a brainfart full of stuff I like and do and the occasional cat-spam (I'm probably biased, because I am her mom, but Shuri is really cute!). So if you feel like that's something you want to check out, hit me up @shieldmaidenfreda - I'll also start using my blog as a tool to Keep you guys updated on WIP's and planned fics and recommendations and all the stuff. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for another one?

Rey spent the evening stress-baking. Her Spotify-Playlist was blaring from the Bluetooth speakers, but it didn’t quite have the effect she had hoped for. Normally her playlist would brighten her mood, no matter what, and although she found herself tapping her feet in the rhythm of the music, she still felt the awkwardness of the earlier encounter in each and every cell of her body. Her mind was racing, imagining all possible future encounters in all their horrible awkwardness.

So far, she had already finished baking the Chocolate Pecan Pie Muffins she’d wanted to try out for weeks, while a baking tray of Pistachio Chai Muffins was currently in the oven. Rey was currently mixing the batter for her newest experiment - Coffee Crumb Muffins. The entire apartment was smelling of freshly baked goods, filling the air with the promise of sugar and spice. Only after her timer had beeped and she’d taken one baking tray out of the oven and replaced it with the next one, Rey finally found herself a bit more relaxed.

The source of the everlasting cringe was resting on her bed, and although Rey had tried to forget about her new toys for a moment, they had never truly left her mind. She was simply too excited to try them out, having waited days for the delivery. Not that a few days were any kind of problem - her sex-life practically dead ever since she broke up with her last boyfriend - the knowledge of them… was intriguing. And the promise of trying them out let her almost forget the earlier encounter.  
  


Before she had ordered them, Rey had done some research. Obviously, Rose had given her some pointers, but ultimately Rey had read a seemingly uncountable amount of reviews and articles on different types of toys. There were _so many,_ and the variety of the online shop was overwhelming. It was a bit like putting a kid in a candy store and telling them to get whatever they wanted. Although some thing looked very intriguing on the spot, Rey would have been lost without her research and preparation.

There were dildos made from silicone, some made from glass or wood; phallic shapes in all colours, forms and sizes. Vibrators that were small and egg-shaped, or long and brightly coloured; toxic looking neons and innocent pastels. She found one that was called a “rabbit” and when she enlarged the picture, she found that it even looked like one. Another had a transparent butterfly instead of rabbit ears and one even looked like a dolphin (a bit too close to bestiality for Rey’s taste, but who was she to judge?). She didn’t even start to look into partner toys, as she wanted something to use on her own and looking at that section was obsolete.

After _extensive_ research and browsing the shop, she had decided to buy a variety of different toys, kind of “one of each” - as she didn’t know what she would like in a toy. She thought that it would be a good course of action to try different things in order to find something that worked for her. Without Rose’s gift card, Rey would have never indulged like this, but she would be forever grateful for the shopping spree sponsored by her best friend.

In the end, Rey had bought a realistic (at least in shape, the colour was a different story with its transparent, yet deep blue) looking dildo with a suction cup (that way she could stick it on her bathroom wall, she mused). A hot pink vibrator that was curved at the tip (the product description claimed it would stimulate her g-spot) as well as a highly praised toy that used air-pressure instead of vibrations. The latter two toys were waterproof, Roses advice still ringing in her ears.  
  


Rey vividly remembered a short video on YouTube she had come across on her research. A short documentary where the reporter visited a sex toy manufactory, explaining the whole process from design to production before making a dildo herself. One of her interview partners had stated that the toys were legally categorized as sports equipment and therefore didn’t need to be disinfected by the manufactory. This fact had grossed Rey out so much that she had bought an extra-large bottle of special disinfectant for sex toys as well a bottle of lube, just for good measure.

By the time the last batch of muffins was done and cooling on the kitchen counter, Rey had disinfected and cleaned her toys and lined them up on her bed, trying to decide which one she would use. The two electronic devices were already fully charged as she had hooked them up before starting to bake.

Finally, Rey decided to start with the toy that used air-pressure – the raving reviews of this and similar toys convincing her.

+++++

  
Ben was not a light sleeper. He could sleep on any surface, no matter how loud and busy his surroundings were. That was a talent he was particularly thankful for. It had been a blessing in college, when his dormmate was loud or the students on their hallway were partying _again_. He wasn’t antisocial by any means, it was just that he enjoyed peace and quiet, enjoyed a good read far more than excessive use of alcohol and loud music. His talent had helped him achieve good grades throughout school as well, staying focused on the curriculum and his goals, while other students focused on sex and drugs.

But today Ben just couldn’t fall asleep – a first for him. It wasn’t even that early and his day had been busy. He wasn’t _exactly_ exhausted, but physically and emotionally tired. It was just his mind playing his encounter with Rey on repeat, in an endless loop of humiliation.

He must have tossed and turned in his sheets for hours, had even contemplated getting back up again to either get some more work on the comics done, or to get out some of that

Scotch, his father had gotten him for his last birthday. Ultimately, he decided against both options, not wanting to use alcohol in such a way and knowing full well that he was way to tired to accomplish any drawing that was up to his standards.

No, something was up and even Vader knew it. Normally the tomcat would lay claim to at least half of Ben’s king-sized bed, but tonight Vader had rolled himself into a ball of fur on the windowsill, the light of Ben’s alarm clock reflecting in the cat’s eyes – a silent judgement.

Ben let out a frustrated huff. He didn’t even do anything and unless the cat was _way_ smarter than he already assumed, Ben didn’t think this treatment was entirely fair.

_Look at me, being judged by my cat and thinking I did something wrong. What is this? Marriage?_

Ben sighed and turned to lie on his back, one hand flat on his stomach, the other resting on the pillow above his head. That’s when he heard the _buzzing_.

It was a faint and muffled sound, but he was 95% certain that he wasn’t going crazy. Objectively he knew that the walls between his half of the duplex and the other weren’t super thick, but he had never heard anything from Rey’s side of the building before. Granted, normally he would be asleep by now.

Maybe she had one of these massage-pillows? He’d heard that they could really help loosen up tense muscles. Or maybe someone was calling her and she had her phone on vibrate. Both valid options in his opinion.

But the buzzing didn’t stop. In fact, it got more intense, louder even. _Weird_.

And then there was _something else_. It took him a moment to understand what he was hearing, what the soft, little noises _were_.

Ben’s eyes went comically large, staring at the shadows on his ceiling, yet seeing nothing. It was _Rey_ he heard. Rey using one of the toys from the _package_. One of the _sex toys_.

And she was _enjoying_ it.

He should probably get up, get out of this room. Put the pillow over his head. Let something drop, to let her know that the walls were apparently _rather thin._

But Ben was a selfish creature and he found himself unmoving, holding his breath and listening to the sounds of Rey pleasuring herself.

Fuck him, he was already sporting a hard-on and a good part of him was cringing badly. He really shouldn’t keep listening to her gasps, her moans, her sighs and whimpers. And then –

“Ben.”

What? He choked. No, that must have been his imagination; a projection of his own wishes.

But then he heard it again and now there was no mistaking it. She had said his name – no, _moaned_ it. This was surreal, but he couldn’t keep himself from imagining her.

Was she naked? Tangled up in her sheets? Or was she wearing some silky, lacy nightgown? Was her hair still wet from a shower she took, or was her forehead glistening with sweat from her pleasure? Was she watching porn? What was _she_ imagining? Was she thinking of him or some other Ben? It was a pretty common name, after all.

Images of the toys from the package came rushing to his mind. He hadn’t _wanted_ to look, but they were very colourful, and could you blame him?

Which one would she be using? One of the toys was a dildo, he thought, so probably not that one.

His dick was throbbing at the thought of one of the toys _in_ her.

She had probably a very pretty pussy. Everything about Rey was beautiful, and he wondered how it would look stretched around his cock. Would her brows knit together at his thrusts? Would he be able to make her make those noises?

His hips started moving on their own accord, short little thrusts, while his cock was leaking precum and staining his boxer briefs. But Ben couldn’t focus on that, his ears straining as her gasps came quicker and louder and finally a small cry cut through the silence of the night.

“ _Beeeen!_ ”

It was the best thing he had ever heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Ben kept it in his pants like a gentleman?
> 
> All recipes listed in this chapter are from this list: <https://www.cosmopolitan.com/food-cocktails/a28004/muffin-recipes/> and to be frank with you: I haven’t tried a single one of them, but they sound delicious, so I might.
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> I’m not 100% sure if this is applicable to every country in the world, but in my country sex toys count as sports equipment. So clean them before you use them - and also after.
> 
>   
> Also: air-pressure-toys are awesome, but they are not as quite as they claim to be (in my experience)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I come bearing Gifts!
> 
> Now… let's find out if Ben is a gentleman or not. ;)

The following days were interesting, to say the least. Rey fell into a routine of using her toys in the evening. At first, she tried per evening, but soon developed a feeling for which one worked best in which situation.

The dildo with the suction cup basically moved into her bathroom and was chilling out on the wall of her shower, even when she didn’t intent to use it. It was a nice reminder, that she could, okay? And anyways, it wasn’t like anyone would see it and judge her for it.

The air-pressure-toy was by far her favourite. Although it obviously didn’t _fill_ her in any capacity, it did a decent job at simulating oral – something she hadn’t received often by previous partners and never fully came to appreciate. Who needed men anyway, if you could have a rechargeable alternative that came in a pretty rose-gold and ergonomically friendly shape?

To be fair, she wasn’t using her shower-dildo that much - it mostly served as some kind of foreplay, followed by an intense session in her bed with one of the other toys.

There had been a time in her life where she had needed to watch porn in order to reach orgasm (mainly after breaking up with her last boyfriend), but lately that wasn’t necessary at all. She tried to convince herself otherwise, but her thoughts were filled with mental images of a shirtless Ben in the garden, glistening with sweat.

And things with Ben took an interesting turn – for a whole different reason.

At first, she didn’t notice it, too busy with work to meet him outside. She came home late, working overtime and going straight to her self-care/relaxation-routine. On the weekends however, he was weirdly absent.

Normally, Ben would use the weekends to get some gardening done or to relax on the patio, but by Sunday afternoon it became clear to her, that he wouldn’t show up. But the next week, when work finally slowed down and Rey even got home early once or twice, she noticed that he _actively fled_ from her.

Whenever Rey waved at him, he would only hesitantly raise his hand to return the greeting, before blushing like a teenager and running inside. Whenever she sneaked up on him in the garden, he would drop whatever he was doing, mumble something about having food on the stove and run inside. One time, she rang his doorbell, knowing full well that he was home (so what if she had spied on him a bit?) to bring him some freshly baked cupcakes. He didn’t open, and Rey gave up after ringing his doorbell three times. She put the box with the cupcakes on his doorstep and went home, not spying to see if he got out.

The next morning, the empty box was on her doorstep, confirming Rey’s suspicion that he was avoiding her.

It made her grit her teeth. She hadn’t done anything wrong and their encounter had been just as embarrassing for her. They had always had a friendly relationship, even if he hadn’t reciprocated her advances. But this … this was just uncalled for and Rey had enough.

After almost two weeks of Ben avoiding her, Rey took matters into her own hands and stomped over to his front door. She knew that he was home, and this time, she wouldn’t give up. She kept hammering onto the wood with one hand, ringing his doorbell with the other and yelling his name.

She put in _a lot_ of effort, and it still took him several minutes to open the door. When he finally did, it took her by surprise and she almost smacked him in the face. _Whoops._

“Rey,” he croaked, and Rey took a good look at him for the first time in days.

Ben looked like shit. His eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot, his hair unkempt and a small stubble on his cheeks. Like he hadn’t slept in days. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding her after all, maybe he had some personal stuff going on. Oh god, she was a horrible person.

Although Ben was pointedly avoiding to look her in the eyes, he still managed to quirk an eyebrow, urging her to state her business.

“Are you alright?” Rey asked, real concern lacing her voice.

“Yeah. Got some trouble sleeping, lately, but I’m alright,” Ben mumbled.

“Oh, okay. Have you tried valerian? Really helps me relax,” she explained, noticing his deep blush at her words. She gave herself a little shake – that was not why she’d come over her. “Are you avoiding me? Have I done something wrong?” Her brows knitted together.

Ben’s eyes flicked up at that, making eye contact for the first time in this conversation. He shook his head but didn’t say anything.

“Well, it feels like it.”

A blush was rapidly creeping into his cheeks, tinting them red. “Uhm, no, I’m not avoiding you. Got a lot on my plate, ‘s all,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact again.

Unbelievable. Rey huffed, agitated. “Fine, if you say so,” she let out annoyed and turning to leave.

“Rey, wait!”

She turned to look at him, brows raised, waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t, Rey asked, “What is it?”

“Uhm, would you want to come over? Tomorrow?” he asked, his blush getting even darker. “I mean, uhm, to look at my printer? I can’t get it to work and you’re a mechanic, right?”

Rey frowned, but thought about his words. He had to know that she wasn’t that kind of a mechanic, right? She worked on cars and the occasional motorcycle. She could fix a bike and sure, she had dabbled a bit with computers, so it wasn’t like she had no clue at all. But still, it was weird for him to ask her, right? Then again … maybe this was something like “Netflix and Chill”? Was he asking her for a date?

Before she even thought about all possibilities, she found herself nodding enthusiastically. “Sure, what time?”

“Uhm, maybe six?”

Six? That was a date-time, right?

“Works for me,” Rey beamed at him. “See you tomorrow at six!”

++++++

The next day Ben found himself positively freaking out. Rey would be coming over in the evening. He had tried to achieve that since she had moved in, and now, finally, the time was nigh. Not under the circumstances he had dreamed of, of course. Not to hang out or have a romantic evening, but fixing his printer had to be worth something, right?

That was a foundation you could build on. And she had agreed immediately and seemed so happy – both signs that she didn’t hate him, even though she had been more than right in her assumption that he was avoiding her.

Listening to Rey masturbate every evening was both the best and worst part of his day. Best, because it was music to his ears, the prettiest sounds he had ever heard. Each time she gasped or screamed his name, his heart leapt in joy.

But with the delight of this realisation came also the horrible guilt that followed right after. He was _listening_ to her _masturbate_. He was fantasising about her, while she did it. About her and about him and about what he might have done to her – for her – had he ever had the chance to find out.

It didn’t get any creepier than that.

So, Ben found himself unable to sleep, ever since he had accepted the delivery for her. Each night was the same: he would lie in bed, anticipating what was about to happen and simultaneously dreading it. He tried going to bed earlier but found himself tossing and turning. He tried working through the night but found himself unable to concentrate until he lay in bed. Only after witnessing her climax was he able to find his way into Morpheus arms.

And that wasn’t even the worst and creepiest, the most disgusting part. No, that was the fact that he had started to touch himself to the sound of her, getting hard ridiculously fast (just thinking about her nightly activities had him flying half-mast) and finishing even quicker. So, yeah. It was the best and worst part of his life now.

After came the dreams. _Good_ dreams, nonetheless. Dreams he thoroughly enjoyed. Dreams that made him feel ashamed the next day and left him exhausted.

But he had to focus on the small, positive things. Rey was coming over to fix his printer and he could maybe start rebuilding some kind of friendship with her.

He wasn’t delusional – he knew that Rey must be physically attracted to him, if she was uttering his name. But he could never, never be with her now. Not after being such a creep.

So, when Rey finally rang the doorbell that evening (six o’clock on the dot), he was fully prepared to salvage their friendship. He wore rather casual clothes (a pair of black skinny jeans and a back v-neck – listen, Vader was a black cat. It’s not like he had a chance of wearing literally _anything_ other than black) and he hadn’t bothered with tidying up his office and living room. Ben was determined to not cause _any_ misunderstandings and he would do anything to make her feel comfortable. He might be a creep, but there was no reason to show her that.

Rey looked absolutely stunning, of course. It was no surprise – she was always beautiful, but it still took his breath away.

She wore a pair of ridiculously short jean shorts, so short, in fact, that he would have a clear view of her ass if she decided to bend over. That alone made him swallow a heavy lump in his throat. The tank top under her red-and-black flannel had a very flattering neckline, and she had put her hair up in a messy bun.

Absolutely breath taking. _Get a grip of yourself, Solo. Don’t be a creep._

Ben wordlessly invited her inside, not trusting himself to not say something inappropriate. At her encouraging smile, however, he quickly leaned down to pull her into a short, but friendly hug. Rey hugged him back, which he counted as a good sign.

“Can I offer you something to drink? A beer perhaps?” he enquired, summoning all lessons in hospitality his mother had hammered into his brain.

“Oh, yeah, that would be great,” Rey hummed, following him into the living room.

Ben quickly went into the kitchen to get two bottles of beer from the fridge and found Rey scratching Vaders chin when he returned. The cat looked rather comfortable and Ben could even make out his cats ridiculous purring. Honestly, it always started out rather innocent and quiet, before turning into a vibrating mess of a cat. Nope, that were not the thoughts he needed right now. _Don’t think of vibrating things, you idiot_.

He smilingly offered her one of the bottles and took a long sip out of his own.

“So, let me show you my printer,” he said, making to go to his office. “I don’t know what happened, to be honest. It just stopped printing suddenly. It made really weird noises.”

Rey had followed him into his office, and when Ben turned to look at her, he noticed her frown. Oh no, maybe she couldn’t fix his printer?

She cleared her throat, a light blush dusting her cheeks. “You, uhm, actually want me to fix your printer?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Do you think, you can repair it?”

Rey’s frown deepened. “You know that I work with cars? Not computers and printers?”

Ben nodded again, slowly this time. “I’m sure it’s no problem for you, right?” She had agreed to help him, after all.

She let out a sigh, that almost sounded frustrated. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll take a look at it.”

“Thank you so much, Rey. I really appreciate it!”

She muttered something that sounded dangerously close to “Yeah, whatever”, then turned to take a look at the printer.

After a few minutes of silence, Rey had successfully opened up his printer, revealing its internal structure. He couldn’t help but feel awkward at the silence, so he opted for the next step in his mother’s lessons to be a good host. Small talk.

“So, what did you think of the latest _Starkiller_ comic?” he inquired. He knew that she read them, and it seemed like a safe topic since he was _the_ expert on the topic.

“Ugh, don’t get me started,” Rey huffed, something like disgust lacing her voice.

“Didn’t you like it?”

“Killing of Jedikiller like that? No, sir. That was a horrible move by Ren,” she explained, her hands working on the printer. “Having Kira end up all alone again? That’s devastating. He got redeemed for like what? Two seconds?”

Now it was Ben’s turn to frown. He hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from her and he felt very possessive of his characters and story choices. “I don’t think there was any other choice. He killed people. He’s a monster and Kira said so herself.”

“Oh, come on,” Rey laughed. “It’s fiction. He deserved a chance to be happy after all the abuse he went through. He’s misunderstood. I’m not saying that he deserves to have all his crimes forgotten, but this? This is just so sad. Jedikiller deserved better.”

Rey turned around, wiping a strand of hair out of her face and smearing ink onto her forehead without noticing. It looked eerily charming.

While he thought about her words and take on his characters, Rey closed the printer. “By the way, your printer isn’t broken. You just need to get new ink.” She sounded frustrated, and even a bit disappointed. Seemed like she felt just as passionate about the _Starkiller_ comics as he did.

“Oh,” was all he could answer, a bit embarrassed. He should have checked the ink, before asking her to help. But this gave him another possibility to ask her over again.

“I’ll order some online, then,” he said, determined. “Maybe you can put it in, when it gets here?”

_Don’t talk about deliveries she should **put in** , you idiot_. What the fuck was wrong with him? _Don’t say anything else. Don’t say anything else._

Ben witnessed in horror how her eyes formed little slits, glaring up at him, the ink-smudge still on her forehead.

“Sure,” Rey growled and made her way into the living room. “You know, thanks for the beer, Ben, but I should get going.”

She was already halfway to the front door when the words slipped out of his mouth. “Yeah, I know, busy night, right?”

He immediately froze on the spot, unable to move. Rey had frozen as well, but the moment of shock didn’t immobilize her for long. She slowly turned around, her eyes boring into his. “What do you mean?”

“No-nothing,” Ben stuttered, blushing furiously. How was it possible to fuck up this badly?

She kept glaring daggers at him, not taking no for an answer. Damn, she was intimidating.

“I heard you,” Ben whispered, wincing at the lie.

“Heard me?”

“At night,” Ben croaked, not daring to look at her face and instead watching Vader silently laugh at him. “Every night.” The last part was barely audible and he knew it.

He heard her gasp, but when he raised his eyes to search her face, she had turned towards the door again.

“I’m sorry,” was all she pressed out, before running out of the house, vanishing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My notes for this chapter in my outline included this gem: “He be blushing”  
> And wow, yeah, I know, it kinda sounds like I’m advertising that toy, but I’m (sadly) not sponsored lol
> 
> The next one might take me a couple of days, but I'm pretty hopeful to get it out by Thursday. For updates, check my Tumblr [@shieldmaidenfreda](https://shieldmaidenfreda.tumblr.com)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, it's been a while. But look, I come bearing gifts.

Rey could not sleep. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how bad she wanted to – she could not sleep. Her mind was racing, playing everything Ben had said on repeat. She was embarrassed out of her mind.

He had heard her.

Every. Time.

She would have to move out. Look for a new place to live. She could never look him in the eyes again.

No wonder that he had avoided her for last few days. He probably thought she had done it on purpose.

Rey let out a frustrated groan and punched her pillow, before sitting up and turning on the lamp on her bedside table. She hadn’t been that long at Bens place – looking at his not-at-all-broken printer hadn’t taken too long, and everything afterwards had passed rather quickly. Even if it had felt the exact opposite.

At home Rey had started to pace through her living room, stuffed her face with homemade cinnamon buns and paced again. It was absolutely nerve wracking and she carried on for hours, until finally falling into bed.

Of course, there was one thing that would help her unwind in this situation, but it was also the thing that had caused _all of this mess_. There was no way she would seriously consider masturbating anytime soon.

No way.

So, hours later, Rey found herself sitting in her bed, unable to sleep but too mentally exhausted to do anything else.

Why had he mentioned it? Why not ignore it and pretend like nothing happened? Or, if it bothered him so much, why not say something earlier?

He wouldn’t even have needed to say that he _actually_ heard her. A comment about how thing the walls were or that he wanted to soundproof them would have been enough. But no, he had explicitly said that he had heard her. _Every. Night_.

It didn’t make sense.

Rey let the events replay in her head, _again_. If hearing her had made him uncomfortable (which would be fair, if Rey was being honest with herself), then why had he told her the way he had?

_Unless_ …

Ben had certainly looked uncomfortable. But he had also tried to make small talk. And she hadn’t missed how he had looked at her.

A spark of hope surged through her and Rey decided to act on it before she chickened out. There was a tiny possibility, a possibility that maybe he liked her like that too. That maybe he found her attractive. That they could be _more_.

Not bothering with putting on real clothes, Rey put on her slippers and rushed out of her front door in her sleeping clothes. Not a minute later she found herself banging her hand against Bens front door, yet again. She pressed down on his doorbell for good measure, praying that none of the other neighbours would wake up from her barrage. It was probably around midnight and she knew for a fact that at least one or two of the neighbours were quick to call the cops.

Rey was in luck, however, as it didn’t take much noise to lure Ben to his front door. She mentally steeled herself at his raised eyebrow and confused look. He looked even worse than earlier and clearly hadn’t slept either.

He slowly opened the door, seemingly cautious of her. Ben opened his mouth to say something, but Rey raised a finger to shush him.

“I need to say something,” she explained. “And if I let you talk first, I might not say it.”

She looked at him, expectantly and when he nodded with a puzzled look on his face, she took a deep breath.

“I might be entirely wrong about this, and if I am, please tell me so. I will look for a new place to live and move out, so you don’t have to see me anymore.”

Ben opened his mouth and mumbled something, but Rey kept talking, forcing herself to get the words out.

“I like you. A lot. And I think that you are very attractive. You probably put two and two together, but I feel like I need to be very clear about this. You’re hot. And I’m into you. I’ve been for some time. Since I met you, actually. And I tried to flirt with you. But I didn’t think you liked me back, so I kinda gave up,” she rambled, taking another deep breath. “I need to know, Ben. If there is any chance that you like me –“

She didn’t get any farther, her words drowned by his lips. She found herself crushed against this mountain of a man, one of his hands tentatively on her waist, the other tangled in her hair.

Rey could feel the exact moment Ben decided that he acted to quickly – his whole body suddenly stiffening and pulling away from her. She didn’t let him, pulling him to her instead and kissing him passionately. His lips were soft under hers and when her tongue darted out to carefully stroke against them, Ben opened his mouth to let out a gasp – giving her an opportunity to invade his mouth.

Her hands were moving all over his body, feeling his abs and pecs, caressing his biceps, before making their way into his hair. She made a mental note to ask him for his hair routine later, but quickly returned her focus to _him_.

When they finally broke apart, Rey was embarrassingly wet, but he wasn’t unaffected either, judging by the bulge in his boxer briefs. She smirked up at him while they were both trying to catch their breaths.

The soft smile on his lips made her heart melt, as she felt a warm blush forming on her cheeks. Bens eyes were chasing all over her face and he leaned in to give her another soft peck on the lips, lingering just a second too long.

“Do – do you want to come in?” he asked her, suddenly sounding nervous.

Rey nodded enthusiastically, a small grin playing at her lips, before she followed him inside. As soon as the door closed behind her, she threw herself at him again. Her legs came around his waist and her arms locked around his neck. Bens hands found their way instinctively to her thighs, to her ass, supporting her. Rey let out a moan and ground her hips against him, pressing closer and placed an open-mouthed kiss on his neck right under his jaw.

Ben was frozen in place, not moving an inch except for his shoulders rising and falling with every ragged breath he took. Why wasn’t he moving? Why weren’t they already naked?

“Ben,” she groaned, placing her hands on each side of his face and staring into his eyes. Her brow was furrowed in frustration as she searched his face for any indication that he _didn’t_ want her. “Bedroom. Now.”

His eyes widened slightly, but his shock lasted only seconds. Bens pupils became incredibly big, making his eyes practically black and a smug smile tugging at his mouth.

She smiled back before kissing him again. Ben finally started to move, his hands groping her butt cheeks and Rey let out a happy sigh.

The way to his bedroom was over in a heartbeat, completely flying by her. Her focus was solely on Ben; his scent, his taste, the feel of his muscles under her hands – it was like she was drowning in him and Rey wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

When they reached his bedroom, Rey relaxed her thigh muscles and slid down. She took one deep breath, before she pulled her shirt off of her, knowing that if she hesitated, she would chicken out. Ben’s reaction was gold – his eyes were impossibly wide and his jaw slack.

“You take off your clothes right now, Ben Solo,” Rey ordered with all her frustration. It was a crime to keep his glorious body hidden any longer. “This seems rather unfair, don’t you think?” She gestured wildly at her own naked body.

Ben had the grace to blush, but complied, quickly pulling his shirt over his head before pulling of his pants.

An involuntary gasp left her mouth. Ben Solo was well endowered. Nay, Ben Solo was a work of art. “Holy shit,” Rey whispered, all air leaving her lungs.

Rey had already known that Ben was fit. She _knew_. She had watched him work in the garden without a shirt, for Christ’s sake. It was only that she had underestimated that Ben Solo was not a guy who skipped leg day – and it showed. His thighs were pure, thick muscles and they stole her breath.

What also left her breathless was his dick. For a second Rey thought that he must have been soft again, because she had expected his dick to stand proudly. It took her a moment before she realized that it was because it was literally too heavy. It was thick and long and quite frankly bigger than any penis she had ever seen in person. Her mouth was suddenly dry and she promised herself that one day she would suck him off. He was uncut, but the head was fully exposed anyway, beads of precum glistening.

Ben raised his eyes, searching hers, an insecure expression on his face. “Is it – do you – I,” he stammered, the blush intensifying.

“You’re hot, Ben,” Rey whispered in awe, biting her lip. “Now get on the bed.”

When he didn’t move, Rey stepped closer and pushed against his impressive pecs. He landed on the mattress with a soft _thump_ , staring up at her with wide eyes.

Her heart was racing, but Rey swallowed her nervousness. It was obvious how nervous Ben was, and that he needed her to take the reins. _Just for now_ , she hoped. After taking a deep breath, she joined him on the bed, straddling him.

She hovered above his hard length, making sure that he could feel the warmth, but not quite touching. She placed hot, opened-mouthed kisses along his neck, trailing from his collarbone to his jawline. Rey could feel the groan in his throat and hummed approvingly when his hands gripped her hips. When she finally kissed his mouth, his hips bucked under her, pressing his hard cock against her aching core.

“Oh fuck,” Ben gasped. “I want you.” He let out a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a whimper. “Condoms.”

“I’m on birth control,” Rey rushed to explain, now blushing herself. “And I’m clean. If you want. We don’t have to. Obviously.”

“No. I mean, yes, please. ‘m clean too.”

“Awesome,” Rey chirped, smirking down at him and wiggling her hips. She straightened up and let her hand trail down his torso, admiring his pecs and abs. When she reached his cock, Rey let her knuckles brush against the sensitive member. The man under her shuddered at her touch and gripped her hips harder, surely leaving bruises. She smiled at the thought of being marked by him.

Flashing him a mischievous smirk, Rey bit her bottom lip and grabbed his cock. She slowly raised her hips and aligned the thick head of his cock with her sopping wet core. Both of them hissed at the contact, and Rey gasped when she finally nudged him inside, slowly sinking down on him.

He filled her completely. The stretch was unlike anything she had experienced before, almost painful. Rey cursed and stilled, braced her hands on Ben’s muscular chest and took a few deep breaths, adjusting to his girth.

“Damn, Solo,” she chuckled, breathless. “Talk about proportional.”

Although Ben blushed at her comment, she could also see the smugness in his face. It morphed into pure bliss when she began moving, slowly lifting her hips before pushing down again. Oh, he _definitely_ brushed against her cervix, something she had never considered something she would _like_. Just as the initial stretch, the sensation bordered on painful, but danced the edge of pleasure exquisitely.

She closed her eyes for a moment and relished in the feeling for a moment before her hips started to move quicker and quicker. Rey soon found a rhythm that she liked, and that Ben seemed to enjoy as well, if the sounds he made were any indicator. Her walls clenched with every brush on her cervix, gripping him tightly.

It took her a moment to realize what it meant when Ben’s grip on her hips got tighter and tighter and his hips started to buck against her. At first, she thought he was moving with her, participating enthusiastically so she wouldn’t have to do all the work. But when he stopped moving, let out a groaned “Fuuuuck” and _pulsed_ inside of her, she knew that he had finished.

Not knowing what to do, Rey remained on top of him for a long moment. She supposed that it was a compliment to her skills and to her, that he had only lasted minutes, but still she felt … disappointed. Not that he came so quickly, rather that she didn’t.

Her disappointment must have been evident on her face or in her hesitation. Ben’s eyes snapped open suddenly, a look of horror on his face. “Shit,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Rey whispered, her voice breaking. “I’ll just – uhm – yeah.”

She motioned to slip off him, not daring to look him in the eyes, but only got so far as to dislodge his half-hard and spent cock from her cunt.

“Rey.”

She tied to climb off him, but his hands continued to grip her hips, holding her in place.

“Let me make it up to you.”

She finally met his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, somewhat confused.

“Please?”

Her heart clenched. Damn Ben Solo and his massive cock and puppy dog eyes.

“Stay like this,” he whispered, his voice strained.

Rey found herself frowning, when he began to shuffle awkwardly under her, and she had to grip the headboard for support. She could feel his come leaking out of her, and she cringed inwardly. _I’m probably dripping his seed all over him._

“What are you do-“ All breath left her lungs in a startled moan when she felt exactly _what_ he was doing.

Ben’s tongue made contact with her clit and Rey’s heartbeat skyrocketed. He circled the bundle of nerves a couple of times, taking his time, before pulling it between his lips and _humming_. The vibrations sent shivers down her spine and she gripped the headboard until her knuckles turned white.

“Oh gooood,” Rey moaned, unconsciously grinding her hips into his face.

Ben chuckled under her; the sound muffled by her cunt. His tongue moved to her opening and he began to feast at her, lapping up the mixture of her arousal and his come that was steadily dripping out of her. If the situation had been any different, this would have embarrassed her immensely and possibly grossed her out. No one had ever done anything quite this intimate. But the fact that he did it willingly, that he seemed to enjoy it and savour their combined taste … it turned her on beyond belief.

Rey had lost any sense of the time passed; she only knew that she was writhing and moaning above him, grinding down onto his face. Every once in a while, his nose would bump against her clit, adding stimulation. He alternated between gently nibbling at her labia and lapping at her opening, sometimes probing inside and swirling around. It made her toes curl.

When Rey was getting closer to reaching her peak, Ben’s tongue abandoned her opening and licked in one hot stripe up to her clit, focusing his attentions on the bundle of nerves. He manoeuvred one of his hands between her legs and gently prodded one finger at her opening. She gasped when he entered her still sensitive channel but relished in the feeling of being filled again. His finger was so much thicker and longer as hers, reaching spots inside her that she never could. Shortly after he added a second finger, stretching her again.

He seemed determined, spurred on by her moans and sighs. His tongue circled endlessly around her clit, stroked over it. She was incredibly close now, so close. When he crooked his fingers insider and closed his lips around her clit and _sucked,_ she suddenly came with a shout.

Rey saw stars dance across her eyelids and her whole body shook with the force of it.

Ben eased her through it, slowly letting his touch become lighter, carefully pulling his fingers out of her cunt. Rey absentmindedly rolled off him, stared at the ceiling and tried to catch her breath. Her heart was racing and she could still feel her walls flutter, even though the sensation was fading out. She could feel him shuffle next to her and after a moment she felt the mattress dip under his weight when he lay down beside her.

A prickling sensation in her neck told her that Ben was watching her, knowing so without even looking. Right, she should probably leave. That was the etiquette of hook-ups nowadays, right?

Rey reluctantly sat up and started to shuffle off the bed, not looking at Ben. She quickly searched the ground, found her shirt and pulled it over her head, before turning halfway around to Ben. Her eyes were pinned on the headboard above him, feeling like she did not have the strength to look him in the eyes.

“Uhm – I guess, I’m just – see you later?” Her voice sounded strained, even to her ears.

“What?” Ben asked in a mumble, clearly exhausted from their hook-up. “Where are you going?”

“Home?” She didn’t mean it as a question, but it came out as one anyway.

“Oh.”

A pause.

“Stay? Please?” He sounded so insecure yet hopeful, Rey finally looked at him, searching his face. His eyes were wide, and he looked just like he sounded – insecure yet hopeful.

“Oh,” Rey breathed. “ _Oh_. Yeah, uhm, I can do that, yes.”

She offered him a shy smile and climbed back onto the bed. Ben pulled up the comforter, before settling on his back and pulling her close. Being so close to him felt really good and Rey found herself relaxing into him, resting her head on his chest and throwing an arm around his middle.

She was slowly drifting off into sleep when she felt him kiss the top of her head. A contempt hum escaped her, and she snuggled closer.

“Can I take you to dinner sometime?” His voice was just above a whisper, but she felt the vibrations in his chest.

“Yeah,” Rey yawned happily. “I’d like that very much.”

++++++

When Ben roused from sleep, he was sure that the last night must have been a dream. This was founded on several thoughts and observations, perfectly logical in his only half-awake mind.

First: he was alone in his bed and not even Vader was keeping him company. There was no need to even open his eyes; he knew that there was no one next to him. No warmth radiating from another body, no sound coming from another mouth. This led him to two possibilities: either last night had never happened and he had dreamed up the whole thing – or it had in fact happened, but she had left him.

This second option was also the one that was racing through his mind as the worst-case scenario. It was better to not be humiliated, to admire her from a distance than to have her move out because she felt uncomfortable being his tenant and his neighbour.

So, Ben kept his eyes closed a moment longer, dwelling in the possibility that it had been a dream, and simultaneously dreaming up scenarios in which they woke up in each other’s arms.

And the dream had felt so real… more real than any dream had ever before. Ben made a mental note to look into lucid dreaming. Maybe he could replicate the experience.

With a heavy sigh Ben finally opened his eyes, reluctantly blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up. _Huh_. The pillow and sheets next to him seemed rumpled and upon closer inspection (no, he absolutely didn’t sniff at the pillowcase, that would be creepy, thank you very much) he came to the conclusion that it hadn’t been a dream after all.

Damn.

Ben felt his shoulders sag a little in disappointment. She had clearly been here. And she had clearly left. He could take a hint. Unless she had errands to run and things to do and didn’t want to wake him. That happened in those sappy rom coms, right?

Full of hope he checked the bedside table, but there was no note left behind indicating that they would talk later. Yeah, Ben Solo could take a hint. He got her message loud and clear.

Ben let out a groan, before he rolled out of bed and opened the drawer with fresh underwear open. After he pulled on a pair of boxer shorts, he left his bedroom, promising himself that coffee would help his now sour mood. Except, when he entered his living-room, he was greeted by the sight of –

“Rey.” He immediately winced, hating how fragile and desperate his voice sounded. His heart did a little somersault – she was still here!

She was currently sitting cross-legged on his armchair, a ball of black fur on her lap and a book in hand. At hearing his voice, she raised her head and perched an eyebrow. He couldn’t read the expression on her face, too distracted by the fact that she was still here and wearing his shirt. Both facts filled his chest with pride and admiration, even though he knew he had been an idiot earlier, when he had assumed the worst case.

She held up the book in her hand, looking at him expectantly. “You want to tell me, what this is?”

That was not what he had expected her to say, but if he was being honest with himself, he was already so whipped for her. He would gladly answer any question.

Ben squinted his eyes and stepped closer, trying to get a better look at the item in her hand. Upon recognizing it, he answered: “A comic book?” He wasn’t entirely sure, where she was getting with this, but he decided to roll with it anyway.

“Yes, I know that,” she exclaimed, her voice low and somewhat dangerous. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “This is a _Starkiller_ comic. Issued to be released next week,” she stated. “Care to explain how you come into its possession?”

She stated it as a question, but Ben had a feeling that it really wasn’t one. He squirmed under her stare, running his hand through his hair, feeling more and more uncomfortable. Something was _not right_.

“Uuuhm … I have … uhm … early access,” he mumbled, knowing full well that his lies was far from convenient. Although … _technically_ it wasn’t a lie. As the author, he _did_ have early access.

“So,” she said, her eyes never leaving his and both brows now pulled into a deep frown. “It’s not because you’re Kylo Ren?”

Oh shit. Oh _shitshitshitshitshit_.

“Uuuuuhm,” was all he could manage.

Rey looked down at her lap, scratching Vaders ears. “Vader was hungry, so I got up to fill his bowl. But instead of eating, he jumped on your desk and a few pieces of paper scattered around. I went to pick them up, when I saw,” she said quietly, and it was impossible for Ben to identify her mood. “I’m a bit sad that you didn’t tell me, but I get that you wanted some privacy.” She looked up at him and took a deep breath, before continuing. “But I don’t understand that you apparently used me as free inspiration. Are you some kind of stalker? Was this all part of your plan? Use me for your comic and then use me for sex?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Then explain, please,” Rey grit out. “Because I honestly have no other explanation for this.”

The hurt and disappointment in her voice felt like a stab to his heart. He slowly moved closer, sitting down on the couch and staring at his hands for a moment. After taking a deep breath, he summoned all the courage he had. It felt like this was all or nothing, like this was his one chance to salvage whatever it was he had with Rey.

“I don’t know where to begin,” he confessed with a sigh. “I … yeah, I’m Kylo Ren. I don’t tell anyone, really. I’m very careful with my identity – I had some unpleasant fan mail in the past. I wanted to tell you, but … to be honest, I was a bit embarrassed, when I found out that you’re a fan …”

His voice broke off and he had to take another deep breath.

“And yes, you’re Kira. I didn’t realize it at first, but – look, by the time I realized that I accidentally made her you, my publisher had seen the design and wouldn’t take no for an answer,” he explained with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, really, I am. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Jedikiller was always a representation of me, and with Kira it was a lot of wishful thinking, I guess.”

There was a long pause in which neither of them said anything. When he heard Rey hum, Ben finally looked up.

“Wishful thinking?” Was there a blush on her cheeks?

He nodded. “Guy like me would never have a chance with a woman like you. You’ve seen the next issue, right? Doesn’t work out.” It was the painful truth.

“Yeah, that’s another bone I have to pick with you,” Rey _spat_. “What the fuck, Ben? That ending makes no sense! You can’t just kill him off and leave her all alone!”

His eyes widened in shock at her passion. “No, Jedikiller has to die to redeem himself. And Kira is better off without him.”

“Excuse me, but that is utter bullshit!”

Vader jumped from her lap at her yell, giving a grumpy meow before sauntering off to god-knows-where.

“Actually, I don’t think you understand the characters at all,” he reasoned, getting a bit agitated at their argument. “Jedikiller is an idiot and he doesn’t deserve someone as good as her!”

“You don’t know shit, Ben Solo,” Rey yelled, jumping off the armchair. She was in front of him within two strides, grabbing his face with both hands and staring right into his eyes. “Everyone deserves a second chance and if you don’t fix your stupid comic to represent the course of this relationship, you can have that dinner all by yourself. Do I make myself clear?”

Her tone left no room to argue and Ben decided right then and there that he would do anything for her. He would rewrite the entire series if she so wished. All he could do was nod.

“Good,” she whispered above him, before lowering her lips to his and kissing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so.
> 
> First of all: sorry for taking so Long.  
> Turns out, depression is a bitch, and she hit me hard.  
> In other news: I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I figured, I owed you this and I also owed it to me to finally finish it.  
> This is very likely the last thing I'm writing for this fandom, and accepting that has also done a number on me.
> 
> I guess it's pretty obvious how I feel about TRoS at this point in time, lol.
> 
> Anyways. Thank you all for reading. I so, so, so appreciate it. Every kudo, every comment means the world to me and I am so happy that you've enjoyed this little dumpsterfire.
> 
> Love you <3
> 
> (I'm not good at goodbyes, and since this is at least a goodbye for this fic, if not for the fandom… yeah. I suck at them.)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this little crack fic. It has been swirling around my mind for some time and I decided to contribute some fun distraction in these dreary times.
> 
> Stay safe, people!
> 
> <3


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